Within my practice, I often talk to clients about Values.
So, what are values?
A person’s values are the things they believe are most important. I like to use the saying ‘what gladdens your heart’? Another way to understand values is to ask yourself ‘ What makes you, you?’. Values can help to determine your priorities, and they influence decision-making and how you like to spend your time.
For example, a person who values wealth, might prioritise their career, while a person who values family, might try to spend more time at home. When a person’s actions do not match their values (e.g. valuing family, but working a lot), they may become discontent with life. This can then have a detrimental effect on their wellbeing and mental health.
Why are values important for our mental health?
Values are very important for our overall wellbeing. They allow us to set goals and committed action to engaging in things that are important to us.
If someone has depression for example, I often see that they are not engaging in activities that are in line with their values. Also, when someone has chronic pain or chronic health conditions, their lives can become smaller and often they stop engaging in things that are in line with their values. This is because if you have chronic pain, it can stop you from doing the activities you once did, which was in line with your values and you may not been able to visualise or explore alternative ways to live in line with those values.
However, the values are still there, within you (the activity may have gone but the value hasn’t!) It is still important to you – perhaps you just need to find a new way of living in line with your values. For example, I worked with someone recently who valued fitness, he played 5 a side football but was not able to do that any longer due to a health condition, so looking at new ways to live in line with their value was exploring the idea of going to a pilates or yoga class. Therefore still living in line with their values, but in a different way.
How do I live my life in line with my values? Its important when thinking about values to understand that Values are not the same as goals. Values involve ongoing action; they are like directions we keep moving in, whereas goals are what we want to achieve along the way. Goals can be achieved or ‘crossed off’, whereas values are ongoing.
Identify what your top values are here today. You can do this by using an activity called
Values cards. See PDF here >> Values Cards
Write down off all different values categorise them as:
~Very important~
~ Important~
~Not important~
Then from your ‘Very important’ list pick 4 values. This is the hard part!!
A way to then establish if you are living in line with these consistently, therefore to know if you are living a valued led life, is to use a therapy tool such as the Values Bull’s eye.
The ‘Bull’s Eye’ is a values-clarification exercise designed by therapist Tobias Lundgren (I have adapted this below). The dartboard is divided into four important domains of life – it is important you pick your top 4 values and use these on the dartboard. There is no right or wrong answer and everyone will have different values.
After you have identified your top 4, then mark an X in each area of the dart board to represent how important that value is on a scale of 0-10 (10 being bullseye) , then mark a O to represent where you stand today – how much you are consistently living in line with this value.
Using this tool allows you to see if there is a discrepancy between how important the value is and how much you are living in line with it. Then sit down and start planning and setting goals to work towards this and make positive changes. You will notice when you start making changes, this will have a positive impact on your mood and wellbeing.
Our values and beliefs can always change. Make allowance for this and you’ll unlock the ability to create a better quality of life for yourself.
And remember, let go of things that don’t suit!
If you have identified that you are not living in line with your values and this is something you want to work towards or discuss further please get in touch and let’s see how I can help.
