If you can embrace, welcome and lean into the discomfort and uncertainty of change you can unlock doors to new possibilities.
Change happens to us all at some point in our life, whether this is a natural change, a welcomed change or one that we have no control over. Change can impact life and for some, can be difficult to manage. Change requires, strength, resilience, committed action and positive mindset to enable us to get the most out of it.
“Change is the only constant in life.” – Heraclitus
Change has been spoken about and written about for many years. “Life is flux,” said the philosopher Heraclitus. The Greek philosopher pointed out in 500 BC that everything is constantly shifting, and becoming something other to what it was before. Heraclitus concluded that since the very nature of life is change, to resist this natural flow was to resist the very essence of our existence. “There is nothing permanent except change” he said.
Psychiatrist Carl Jung in The Stages of Life, echoing Heraclitus suggested that a refusal to embrace change as a necessary and normal part of life will lead to problems, pain and disappointment. If we accept that everything is constantly changing and fleeting, things run altogether more smoothly.
Change has also been spoken about by Psychotherapist Julia Samuel. In ‘This too Shall Pass’ stated “Change is the one certainty of life, and pain is the agent of change, it forces you to wake up and see the world differently, and the discomfort of it forces you to see the reality of it. It’s through pain that we learn, personally and also universally.” Accepting change also makes you better at it, she says. “It’s the paradox that the more you allow yourself to accept that change is inevitable, the more likely you are to change intentionally and adapt.” Change can be an engine of progress.
So, change and the struggle with change is nothing new, but why do we, as humans find it so difficult to embrace or even tolerate? Embracing change means accepting that we can not control everything. EMBRACING change is the key to growth, embracing rather than tolerating will allow you to have improved and balanced wellbeing.
So, how do we embrace change?
Here are my 5 top tips to try and help you learn to embrace and even to love change!
1- Face your fears
One of the biggest thing to over coming the resistance to change is to acknowledge your fear. Allow yourself and give yourself permission to experience what ever fear may come up for you along the process of making a change. If your faced with a big fear you may be required to take a leap of faith, a leap into the unknown. Learning to tolerate uncertainty can be hugely helpful in helping you face your fears.
So, allow yourself to face and feel the fear, acknowledge what is it that is making you feel the fear, but don’t let it get in the way. Take committed action towards the goal and change you want to see. Take one small step at a time towards the fear and the unknown and focus on the step in front of you!
2- Set clear, manageable and achievable goals
If you’re sure wow the direction you want to or are not sure on the change you want to see then goal setting is a really helpful strategy.
If you learn how to set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely) goals that are relevant to your life, embracing change will become a normal part of achieving those goals.
Setting the direction towards achieving those goals means defining actionable and achievable steps. I always encourage people to take small steps and set these up. When we begin to achieve the small steps, the bigger end close seems even closer. This can boost our motivation and confidence, therefore, embracing change.
3- Practice gratitude
Fear of change is often related to a negative mindset or outlook on our own life, others and the world around us. This could have stemmed from our upbringing, past experiences or feeling overwhelmed or stuck in a current situation you want to change.
Expressing gratitude is a simple, yet often neglected strategy that I use in therapy with my clients. It helps focus our minds towards positivity and helps grounds us to the hear now.
The simplest method of practicing gratitude is by keeping a gratitude journal. The idea is to spend 10 mins each day keeping your journal on gratitude. You can write down positive things about yourself, positive things that have happened that day, listing things you are grateful for or just noting down a feeling.
4- Let go of negative thoughts
Change can sometimes be scary because it can make us think that we’re losing our true selves, or what we have always known. It is really common for us to look at other people and try to figure out whether we are doing okay or not, based on how they are doing. Remember “comparison is the thief of joy”.
Embracing change comes a lot easier if you stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on your goals.
It is normal to experience negative thoughts, we all do. Try seeing your thoughts like clouds in the sky, acknowledge them but then let them pass by. We do not need to engage in every thought we have, if we notice and identify some are negative and not helpful to us, try to let them pass by.
5- Time for reflection
Although change is a normal and necessary part of life, accepting it can be a difficult. reflection is an important process, it helps us look at what part of the change process is going well, are there any areas for improvement, are you on track with your goals or do you need to add in some other smaller steps to be able to achieve what you want. Schedule in some reflection time each week.
To summarise, change can be hard, it can bring about feelings of uncertainty. BUT, change can also be great, it can be liberating and it can bring about so many positives. Change is a part of life, so lets learn to embrace it.
If you want to talk more about change, or if you have something you want to change in life and need some support, get in touch.
Sheena
